Trying to make it

Where do I even start life is crazy things ain’t the way we hope it would be it seems each and every day . And the ppl that depend on us is clinging to every word we say to be that what they need . Then when it’s all out of your control it seems that everyone is just figuring it out with out a hickup but here I am because I want cheat someone for my benefit and or steal from another for me to be that what I want to be at in life .. it’s almost that it’s got to be that everyone is theives or cons of some sorts . I’m just saying the thought of the way it looks to me when I try and try to do rite by ppl and do rite by GODS law but I am stuck and can’t find a way to become able to provide for my family the way I’m saposse to …. I would love to be able to go on vacation like everyone else does it seems .. just trying to make it ..